Hatred

Anger is a killing thing ,

it kills the man who angers,

 for each rage leaves him less than he had been before –

 it takes something from him.
-Louis L’Amour

Hatred…is a funny thing.

It starts out slow, beginning with the smallest hints of dislike. It slides forward then, crawling, slithering circles around your heart, fickle in the form of anger yet enduring as it becomes a grudge.

It can take on many shapes as it seeps into your soul: the smile on your face as you speak –spiteful even when the words you utter are kind –, your delighted laughter as bad things happen to those around you, the venomous expressions that leak out of your mouth when referring to other people, the way you take pleasure in watching others squirm. Hate has taught you how to mask your weaknesses. It has molded you, shaped the way you are until it is what defines you.

And one day, when you want to take it all back, when you want to revert to the person you used to be –the one with the genuine smiles and sincere words –, you find that you have nothing left to go back to.

Because you’ve forgotten who it was that you were in the first place.

Yes.

Hatred…is fucking hilarious.