Graduation

"Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather is one of those things that give value to survival."
- C. S. Lewis

Last Days
© Laarnie Simbulan

Moving on and meeting new people
Seems like the most interesting thing
New buddies, new galpals
A whole new world to explore

At first, tears never came and overflowed
All there was was excitement
Laughter, amazement and gladness
For the final year in high school's about to be uncovered

But during the last days, things changed.
Memories and good times of the past shone,
Clouded our minds as we thought of leaving
While all the emotions altogether brewed.

All of a sudden, tear-floods overflowed, unmanageable.
Rivers of crystalline tears mixed with sobs,
Reminiscing the past seemed to be hard.
To grasp the thought was unbearable.

"Why do I cry?", I asked.
I always wanted to leave, didn't I?
"Can't wait to get out of here" were my initial words
But why and why now are my questions.

Sadness creeps in and heart full of sorrow
As I sat with clouded eyes, still crying.
Nothing will be lost, I thought.
All's well. I'll look forward to tomorrow.

All of these are foolish things to say.
Foolish...fooling myself is what I'm doing.
All the friends and teachers that I've known
Cannot be replaced in any way.

Sure, new experiences will come.
But will these outshine the old ones?
Love and understanding have grown for five years.
Hard to comprehend why it's all ending.

Life goes on, they say.
But now all I want is life to be as it is.
Joy fills my heart in this place.
Nothing more to ask for, I prayed.

Goodbye...goodbye...final goodbye
In these last few days of woe and sorrow.
Tears mixed with laughter echoes in the halls
As the cover closes in the final days of this chapter.

Hatred

Anger is a killing thing ,

it kills the man who angers,

 for each rage leaves him less than he had been before –

 it takes something from him.
-Louis L’Amour

Hatred…is a funny thing.

It starts out slow, beginning with the smallest hints of dislike. It slides forward then, crawling, slithering circles around your heart, fickle in the form of anger yet enduring as it becomes a grudge.

It can take on many shapes as it seeps into your soul: the smile on your face as you speak –spiteful even when the words you utter are kind –, your delighted laughter as bad things happen to those around you, the venomous expressions that leak out of your mouth when referring to other people, the way you take pleasure in watching others squirm. Hate has taught you how to mask your weaknesses. It has molded you, shaped the way you are until it is what defines you.

And one day, when you want to take it all back, when you want to revert to the person you used to be –the one with the genuine smiles and sincere words –, you find that you have nothing left to go back to.

Because you’ve forgotten who it was that you were in the first place.

Yes.

Hatred…is fucking hilarious.